Health update.

If you've been following my blog for the past couple of months, you'll know what this will be about. But if you don't know what its about, this is my previous post explaining everything. 

I finally got my appointment come through for my hospital referral, which was last Thursday (19th). My dad ended up coming with me as support due to my other half starting a new job and he could no longer make it. 

I got to the hospital and sat down in the waiting room which was absolutely packed full of people...and before I knew it, I was being called in. Dirty looks were thrown at me from all sides of the room as I presume they'd been waiting there for a while but hey, who cares. I had my weight and height measured by a pre assessment nurse and off I went back into the same waiting room. A couple of minutes later, I was called in again to see the consultant. 

Now, I used to be quite shy and embarrassed when talking about my stomach issues but the more I've come to terms with it, the easier I've found actually talking about it. I was in the consultants room for around 30 minutes talking about how this all started, how it effects me and also I had to rate what my poo looks like on a picture scale...on an iphone app. Wow. After a good conversation about my diet, general health and past health, the consultant agreed that I would need a endoscopy to see what was going on. At this point I'm blissfully ignorant as to what this actually was...

From there, I was sent to see a pre-examination nurse who sat me in a little room to go through a health questionnaire about my health, am I pregnant, have I been smoking or drinking, the usual questions which I always get the same looks when I respond. I genuinely do not smoke, and I very very rarely drink...not something that the doctors seem to believe! After the questionnaire, I was told I couldn't eat anything from 9am on Sunday morning until after my appointment on Monday...over 24 hours. And Sunday morning, I could only eat certain low fibre foods...whaaaat! Also for this procedure I had to be administered laxatives. In my mind I'm thinking wait, hold on...this is the reason why I'm here, I don't need laxatives! But this is needed so my bowel and intestines are completely clear for inspection. I was given a huge box with two sachets that I had to mix together in 1 litre of water (2ltrs in total...!)  and drink one at 5pm over two hours and the next at 8pm, again over two hours. In between those and after, I was to drink 500ml each time. Now I take absolutely AGES to drink anything, this was certainly going to be a challenge in itself! Next we were talking about pain relief and at this point I'm thinking wow, how bad is this?! I opted for Entinox (gas and air) as if it's good enough for childbirth surely it'll be good enough for this. I left the hospital with a little "goodie bag" of laxatives, information leaflets and also my consent letter for pain relief.

Fast forward to Sunday morning, I got up early to have breakfast which consisted of crumpets...one of the very few things I was allowed to eat. All of Sunday I kept myself busy to stop thinking about food, eating, smells, anything. However this backfired as I stupidly went food shopping with my boyfriend...! Before I knew it, 5pm arrived and it was time for my first sachet of laxatives. Sachets mixed together, the smell of sickly sherbet lemon oozed from the jug of water. I knew instantly I was going to hate this...I hate anything sickly and anything artificially lemon tasting. I literally gagged drinking this, however found it a little easier to drink with a touch of orange squash poured in to it. I somehow managed to drink the first litre and on came the 500ml of clean water. At this stage I'm feeling SO bloated...how the hell am I going to cope with another 1.5ltrs of water?! I decided to take a bath to give myself a bit of a break and then came the second litre. Now I'm going to be truthful here, I could not stomach any more lemony water. I drank hardly any of the second batch of laxatives. Now, reading through the leaflet, I was meant to have "movement" within an hour of the first sip you take. 5 hours later I still had nothing...a bit of gurgling but nothing coming out. Weird. 

I didn't have any sort of movement till this morning, and when I mean movement I mean, get me to a toilet NOW. Safe to say, I'll never take laxatives again. Ever. I only went to the toilet once but the pain was unbearable!

9:45am arrived and my hospital appointment loomed. I was sat in the waiting room with another older lady and a lovely old gentleman who was reading a book. I was called through by a lovely nurse and taken through to my bed and was then introduced to the doctor who would be taking out the procedure. I had my blood pressure and pulse taken and as usual, these were completely normal. There was a lady around the same age as me who had not long come out of the procedure and was crying, and I mean crying. I said to the nurse, jesus it's not that bad is it?! but she reassured me that she was in for something different. Secretly, I knew she wasnt. Around 30 minutes later, I was wheeled into the endoscopy room and was overwhelmed with the size of the machine. I saw the camera and thought...that has to go...up there? it's huge! As funny as it is, I really was nervous. 

As I mentioned before, I opted for gas and air but due to having IBS, I was administered Buscopan through a needle in my arm, but was also there just in case I needed to be sedated directly into my blood. The lovely nurse who I'd just been talking to was showing me how to use the gas and air...WOW. After 4 puffs I felt like I was flying, my head was spinning and it's quite the most light headed I've ever felt! If I ever have children I will definitely be using that. Camera...inserted.., I could see everything that was happening on a screen I was lay directly in front of. Next to this was a tiny screen showing what the "scope" looked like inside my body. Very, very off-putting. I kept my eyes on the screen where I could see inside my body and completely forgot about the gas and air. To be honest, it wasn't painful at all, it just felt like really bad trapped wind and like I needed to go to the toilet. I could feel this camera going round my bowel and intestines and it genuinely is the weirdest feeling I've ever felt. It was like a fingertip running itself around my insides. There was one part which was a little bit more uncomfortable where the doctor was trying to get into a smaller part of my colon, it literally felt like it was breaking through but I took another puff of the gas and air to help which soon made the pain disappear. However, at this point I became extremely hot and felt like I was going to be sick, but I let out one almighty burp and was fine again. 

The majority of my examination looked absolutely fine however there was one part that was slightly bloody...I don't know if this was from him trying to dig his way to China through my bowel or from the laxatives but it was nothing to be worried about. The next part was to take biopsies of different parts of my colon and bowel but it was the weirdest thing to watch. It was like a mini crocodile clip nipping away at my skin! Again, nothing too painful, just a slight tugging sensation. And at that, the examination was over. 30 minutes later and all my crevices explored, I was done.

I was wheeled back into the recovery ward where I was told as I'd only had the tiniest bit of gas and air, I'd be able to go home in about half an hour. However, I was also told I was to expect a lot of wind movement...and they weren't joking! My stomach was gurgling something chronic but I did not want to pass it as I was in a room full of people...who have just had the same thing done. It's just me, I have manners, haha! The nurse came back to check my blood pressure and pulse again but at this point my blood pressure had dropped...not sure why but after a cup of tea and FINALLY something to eat, it crept back up to a normal rate. She went through my results and informed me that my biopsies will take about a week to come back to me but I have nothing as of yet to be worried about. 

So here I am, an hour and a half after coming back from hospital having a camera literally poking around my insides and I feel absolutely fine. A bit crampy and windy but nothing that I haven't experienced before. I was told that this should pass in a couple of hours so that's fine. I don't know how to feel whilst waiting for these results...I am worried, of course I am, but I just don't know what to expect. I'm sure I'll share the outcome of it all on here, but for now I'm going to try everything I can to not think about it.

All in all, my experience having an endoscopy wasn't THAT bad but certainly something I wouldn't do again in a hurry! For now, I've got my new job to focus on which I'm REALLY enjoying and I'm also going to London this weekend to see my sister. 

Until next time!

♥

How I deal with IBS.

Granted this isn't the nicest of blog posts I'll ever do, but I feel like I need to make awareness of IBS more out there. I'm one of the millions of people suffering with it, and I'm amongst the many that don't actually want to talk about it. I'm not posting this just for my benefit but so others can see exactly what my day to day life is like. 

Since being "diagnosed" (I hate that word...) my life has completely changed. I've known I've had stomach issues for around 4 years now - not long after a trip to Liverpool. I caught a very bad stomach bug and ever since, I catch nearly every stomach bug going. I only really became aware of it when it started to change how I live...meaning I now stay in a lot more than I go out because I can't be anywhere where I don't know the location of the nearest toilet. People think I'm joking when I say that, but I can barely make it to work which is 10 minutes away, without rushing straight to the toilet when I get there. 

I hate the stigma that surrounds my IBS, a lot of people think I fake it because one day I can be absolutely fine and the next, I could be a blithering wreck. This is just how it is. I never know how I'm going to be one day to the next, however lately it's taken a toll for the worst. A lot of people think I'm overthinking this but I'm simply not.  Every single day I wake up feeling extremely nauseous and within half an hour of being awake, the stomach cramps start. I can go to the toilet about 5-6 times before I even leave for work and when I do, I start getting hot and I get cold sweats, then I start to panic. Not because something bad will happen, but because the cramps are so intense that I can't do anything but simply let my body do what it wants to do. 

For example, this weekend is my full weekend off from work and I've done nothing but stay in my pyjamas and watch tv on the sofa under the duvet because I cannot face going out. Today I've been to the toilet around 10 times and it's only 1pm. My stomach is bloated, I feel nauseous and I cannot eat anything due to this. Is this really how I should be living my life? Shouldn't I be going out, doing the things that I really want to without thinking "Where's the nearest toilet?"...

I have to be extremely careful which foods I eat as literally anything can set my IBS off. Pasta, cheese, potato, chicken, anything. I cannot pinpoint one thing that makes my stomach churn. Like I said before, I can eat something one day and be fine, then eat it the next and become very poorly from it. I've had to keep a food diary for the last 6 months or so and there isn't any sort of definite pattern. I cannot eat breakfast because it makes me feel so sick, no matter what I try. The only thing that works for me in the morning is peppermint tea, I find that really helps my stomach to settle. I generally don't eat until around 10-11am, where I find my stomach starts to calm down. 

I've been backwards and forwards to the doctors numerous times about my stomach and each time they've told me to try different things. I've now been told I have to take a similar product to Imodium every single day, alongside buscopan. Failing this, I'll be moved on to something else. I'm now waiting for my hospital appointment to come around so I can have more tests done to find out exactly what's happening but I'm starting to worry. Not because I'm scared of getting a diagnosis of something, but I'm worried about how I'll feel about having this for the rest of my life. I can't explain it...

I constantly feel like there's a huge weight on my shoulders, I'm always thinking about where the nearest toilet is no matter where I go. I dread having to go out in case I get caught short, I even try to make myself think I'm okay but in reality all that does it make it worse for me. I find myself getting upset with myself on a regular basis because there's nothing I can do at the minute to help myself. Now to look at me, you wouldn't think that all of this is a daily occurrence for me but it really is. Every single day I wake up wondering how I'm going to feel, if I'll even make it to work and how I'll feel so the rest of the day. When I wake up I feel so bloated, I avoid wearing certain items of clothing now just so other people can't notice it. 

For all the people that make jokes about toilets, stomach issues and the embarrassment around them, just remember someone is actually having to deal with this every single day of their life. Not just me, but many people around you. Just have some consideration for those people even if they don't make it known to you that they have stomach troubles. 

The real reason I'm writing this post is because I just want to make myself aware how much IBS has really changed my life and how much people tell me it shouldn't. It's difficult living every single day not being able to eat the foods I want to and drink whatever I want to. If you have a stomach issue, just remember there are so many people around you that potentially have one too, it's better to talk about it than to keep it to yourself. 

♥

Top 3: lip balms

In true blogging style, I'm going to start doing these "top" posts e.g top 3 foundations , blah blah. You know what I mean. All products will be linked to a website where they are available from (mostly Boots...) and all will have prices. I hope these posts are helpful to some as I love reading posts like these on other blogs. 

I'm going to start off with my Top 3 with lip balms. I'm only slightly obsessed with lip care, lipsticks, anything you can buy for lips, I want it! There's nothing better than the feeling of nourished lips after using a good lip balm. And in the last couple of years I've spent my fair share of money on lip balms...

1. Let's start this off with Palmer's Cocoa Butter lip balm. Iv'e used this for so many years, literally about 5 years! I'm a huge fan of Palmer's, their products really do wonders for my skin. The smell is delicious, I literally want to eat it! It's the classic Palmer's cocoa butter scent, which lasts quite long on the lips. The formulation is lovely, smooth and goes on the lips really easily without feeling too heavy and greasy. These last me AGES, and even some have been through the washing machine and survived as the packaging is really robust...it retails for £1.89 in Boots but is widely available at different prices.

2. One of my newest addictions is down to my sister (as are many of them!). This was a gift from her trip to Florida, which I am so happy to have received. It's absolutely delicious! It's Cake Batter Chapstick. I'm not sure if this is available in the UK as I said, it was originally from Florida. Like all Chapsticks, the packaging is really simple and the product lasts quite a long time. This specific one smells to me like really strong vanilla. If you're not a fan of strong scents, this might not be the right one for you. I've loved Chapstick for years because they're really good value for money and they actually work. They're not greasy, they last a while on the lips and are in really cute packaging. I love any sort of Chapstick, not just this specific one. And it smells so good I just want to eat it. 

3. No one can resist a pot of Vaseline. I'm sorry but I genuinely don't think I've ever been without a tin of this lying about somewhere! I use it for so many things, not just a lip balm. It's been a life saver for my hairline when I'm dying my hair, it's made my skin less dry when I've used it and of course, it's really good as a lip balm. It's quite greasy but I find if you don't use a huge thick layer, it's actually really nice and super moisturising as to be expected. It's widely available and is also available in different types i.e aloe vera, rosy lips. I'll be buying this for years to come as it's just so versatile. It ranges in prices, I think even as little as £1. 

So there we have it, 3 really well priced products and certainly ones that work. I've always got some form of lip balm on the go and I've got a couple floating around in my handbag waiting to be used/are half used. Some might say I have a slight addiction, I just shrug it off. I tend not to admit to things haha! I could have put more in this post such as the Balmi lip balms, but they just don't cut it as much as these three do. 

♥